Changing Thoughts

The last few weeks I've been driving to work with my headlights on. That means it wasn't quite light enough to drive without them. But this morning they were necessary. I left for work at my usual time and it was still dark. When I arrived at my office I looked out my window and all I saw was darkness. I decided that I should not be at work when it is still dark outside. It just doesn't feel right. Over the last few weeks I have enjoyed watching the seasons change right before my eyes. I love how each day the leaves looks a little different and there are a little more leaves scattered on the ground. I've also noticed a little more frost on the ground each morning.

I then watched the sunrise. Once again, it just didn't feel right to watch the sunrise from my office. It is even worse to watch the sunset soon after I arrive home. That just isn't right.

I also had some bizarre dreams last night that just didn't seem right. Even I could not even begin to interpret the meanings.

But what does seem right is that I am excited to take a break later today to run to the post office to put that infamous textbook in the mail. Yes, we finally sold it. Not for what we bought it for but at least we are getting something for it. I would love to report that because I publicly ousted half.com on my blog the president of the company called me and said he would buy it himself. But that did not happen. However, I will report that the email I sent to half.com over 4 weeks ago seeking help to post the book for sale just got answered. You know what their excuse was? They were busy. But they are sure glad I got my problem sorted out. Without their help. But all is good now.

Its been awhile

While visiting some family recently, Neil and I were asked the question "What have you been up to?" several times. Unfortunately, our response is generally school and work. That just about sums it up. However, we have infused a few other activities that may or may not be more exciting. First, we took a mini vacation to San Francisco way back in July. I have decided that mini vacations are not a good idea. Because they are just long enough to get used to the idea of vacationing but just short enough to wish you could have stayed longer. But we sure enjoyed it. We packed it in with as many activities as we could. It was a great trip.

Second, I took a business trip to San Diego a few weeks ago. I was relieved that I experienced no flight delays or robberies. I traveled with a co-worker who has had terrible traveling experiences as well so I think our bad luck canceled each other out. I did realize that business traveling isn't much fun. I intended to spend a lot more time at the beach and by the pool but the evil forces of work ruined every attempt. I did get to go to Sea World, so I guess I can't complain too much.

Third, I got to attend a BYU football game! I know that is not exciting to most but it is very exciting to me. BYU even won the game so it made the long trip worth it.

Finally, I've been reading a lot. I have recently read World Without End and Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. These were epic novels just in length alone but the thing I loved the most about those books is the historical time period they covered. Each book inspired me to do more research about the time period. I actually googled "The Plague" and read up on it. I know that is morbid but the book made me curious enough that I had to read about it. I also researched various religious leaders and cathedrals.

I most recently finished The Book Thief and I can honestly say it was very unique. Not only was the book narrated by "Death" but it was about Germans in Nazi Germany and how they dealt with World War II. I have read several accounts from Jews during that time period. It was fascinating to see the other perspective. Of course the book is fiction but it is loosely based on the experiences of the author's relatives. This book was full of lessons on psychology and humanity on various levels. It sure made me think.

Currently, I am reading a mystery by Mary Jane Clark while I decide what genre to dabble in next.

The Breaking Point

I didn’t want to have to share. But I just can’t help it. I just have to. So I believe this all started with my old phone not working just to find out Verizon was having network issues. Well, after a week of my new phone not ringing when someone called and after a week of fiddling with it because it had to be something dumb, I took it back to the store. And when I say “I” I mean Neil did. Because I was too embarrassed to admit I couldn’t work my own phone. This is actually the nicest and most technologically advanced phone I have ever owned and I was starting to feel stupid for not being able to work it. Well, it turns out that Verizon has NEVER had that problem with this phone before. They were puzzled. At least it wasn’t me!? So their solution was to give me another brand new phone. But in order to do that we would have to return the old new phone box with receipts as well. So my poor dear husband had to go back home get that and then wait around while they activated the new phone. He even missed his study group for me. He delivered my new phone to my work and rushes off to class. But my new phone didn’t have the same menu options and functions as my old new one. So I was furious. I am debating just returning the stupid new phone and downgrading technology because apparently I am not ready for such a big step. I have a technology inferiority complex. While I waited for Neil to get out of class to see if he could figure out how to work the new phone I hit my breaking point.

After the last week and half I am surprised this didn’t happen sooner. So you ask what could possibly have been my breaking point? Someone who shall not be named ate a piece of my lunch. Seriously. Let me explain something about this lunch first. It began Monday night when dinner ended up being a disaster. Just imagine buckets of rice and a missing ingredient and Cheryl crying on the kitchen floor. So my dear husband picked me off the floor and said I’m buying pizza. He even splurged for the good pizza. He even saved some for me to take for lunch on Tuesday, which is a treat for me. So I take my precious good pizza to work and store it in the refrigerator. Clearly it was not to share. I have never had a problem before at work but someone helped themselves to my lunch! Tears were almost spilt because not only was my phone not working but someone ate my lunch.

To make a long story short, I decided to take my own advice. So I went home and ate chocolate cake. Then I decided that I ought to start marketing my life to television. Wouldn’t this make a great episode of The Office?

Writing Life

Over the weekend I finished The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan. I thought it was pretty good. The ending was a bit far fetched for me but it was an interesting book. My favorite Amy Tan book is The Kitchen God's Wife and my second favorite is The Joy Luck Club. Why I suggest that everyone should read at least one of her books is because she not only introduces you to the culture of the Chinese and Chinese-Americans but she was an amazing way with words. Her writing has a way of drawing you in and describing things in a way I never could have even imagined. After reading one of her books I could only dream of being able to write that beautifully.

I just started reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am introducing a new category to my palette. Biographies. In the library I usually sit at a table in the biography section and I stare at the plethora of biographies wondering what all of those people were like and why they are special enough to write a book about themselves or have a book written about themselves. Anyway, as I have begun this book I decided I cannot share my opinion on this book. Who am I to comment on whether I like someone else's life or not? It reminded me of an experience I had earlier this summer. I briefly reconnected with a friend I haven't spoken to in over 4 years. She contacted me out the blue. It was nice to reconnect until she made judgments on my life. We are both in very different places since we last spoke. We are probably different people than when we last spoke. But it was hurtful to hear her dissect my life and make it seem as if I led a miserable life. So I cannot judge Elizabeth Gilbert's life because it is her life.

I can say that I think she is a great writer. I can also say that she is such a good writer that I have been able to say, "Wow. I've been there. Wow. I've felt that." But there are also some parts that I can't even relate to. I wonder if I was to write an autobiography some day, what would I write? Would it be funny? Would it be sad? Would I have enough meaningful things to write about?

For now though, I think I will stick with blogging and reading about other people's lives.

I just had to

I have been enjoying my new found optimism despite frustrations and set backs. However, this was just too good to not share. As I have already explained Neil has a very expensive extra textbook he will not be using. So we researched some options and decided we would try selling it on half.com. Well, we ran into some issues while doing that. Before reading the Instant Messenger conversation below please note that our ONLY option for help was through this Instant Messenger. We searched the website for a phone number but none could be found. Second, please keep in mind that we were logged in and registered on the half.com website. That is very important to remember.

1:56:41 PM Sylvester F.
Hello, thanks for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Help! My name is Sylvester. How may I help you today?
1:57:34 PM neil
I am trying to list a textbook to sell. But when my credit card is being verified it says the card identification number is incorrect. I have updated my credit card in my account but it still won't work.
1:58:06 PM Sylvester F.
Please give me a minute or two while I check this for you.
1:58:25 PM neil
okay. thank you
1:59:06 PM Sylvester F.
I can see that you've not yet created a PayPal account.
1:59:24 PM Sylvester F.
To sell on eBay you'll need to create a PayPal account.
2:00:37 PM Sylvester F.
Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
2:01:22 PM neil
So I need that to sell on half.com? None of the listing instructions said I needed a paypal account.
2:01:41 PM Sylvester F.
Oh!
2:01:51 PM Sylvester F.
We have a dedicated team for Half.com issues. To contact them, please try the Help Wizard available from the Half.com site:

http://pages.half.ebay.com/help/wizard/index.html
2:01:56 PM Sylvester F.
From that page, select the topics that describe your problem. You'll then receive a possible resolution. If the response that you get doesn't answer your question, click the "Contact Customer Service" link to email the support team for Half.com.
2:01:56 PM Sylvester F.
You can also send them a direct email by sending your question to service@half.com
2:02:40 PM neil
Is there a phone number I can reach them?
2:03:37 PM Sylvester F.
Please don't worry, our listing team will call you while you've completed your listing...
2:03:56 PM Sylvester F.
May I transfer you to our eBay Listing team.?
2:04:08 PM neil
No thank you.
2:04:21 PM Sylvester F.
You're welcome.
2:04:26 PM Sylvester F.
Have I resolved your issue?
2:04:43 PM neil
No. I suppose I will have to email half.com.
2:04:57 PM Sylvester F.
Oh I see.
2:06:27 PM System
Sylvester F. has left this session!

I am still deciding if Sylvester F. is from India or if he is a computer. Because if neither of those options are the case then well that was horrible customer service. Well, it is horrible either way you look at it but at least I could understand why it was so horrible if one of my assumptions was correct.

So because our frustration came to a boiling point we decided we were not going to work with half.com anymore. We then proceeded to drive around Logan trying to sell the textbook back to all of the bookstores in Logan. The highest offer we got was for $35 for a brand new, never been used $120 textbook. Lame. We didn't accept that and I tried half.com again today. I know, what was I thinking? And it still wouldn't work. Does anyone have any ideas? Too bad I don't have a twitter account with millions of followers so I could make something happen and call half.com to repentance. If only I had that much power...

Positive Attitude Part 2

Yay life! I really hoped I wouldn't have to write a part 2 but I am at the point that all of this has become quite humorous. Normally, I don't think I would take it so well but I must be turning over a new leaf. So yesterday, morning Neil calls me sounding quite upset and informs me that we ordered the wrong $120 textbook for one of his classes. We don't buy his books from the bookstore because they are too expensive and we have ordered his books online for the last couple of years. We not only have saved hundreds of dollars but we've never had a problem. Until now. We don't know if the bookstore put the wrong information online or the professor changed his mind or what but we can't return the book we have and now we have to buy another one.

Things couldn't get any worse right? Wrong. So Neil has a flash drive that he uses so he can work on homework at school and then bring it home to finish or save his work. Well, last night when he went to retrieve his flash drive from his backpack so he could print out a homework assignment, he couldn't find it. He searched his entire backpack twice. We searched our house once. Searched his car three times. And then he remembered he put it in his pocket instead of his backpack. So it could be anywhere that he went today. So we get into the car and start retracing his steps. Luckily, we decided to look at where we parked to walk the Logan River Trail. And there it was, only run over and smashed. But at least we found it? Fortunately, we were able to fix it enough to pull off his assignment.

On another note I am reading The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan. The concept of this book is love. Love between husband and wife, mother and daughter, father and daughter, sisters, and friends. This concept is told through a story of a woman and her step-sister. If you have never read an Amy Tan book, you should. I wouldn't say this has been my favorite and not all of her books are my favorite. But she is an amazing writer. Her books are amazing. I have enjoyed this book because it has explored how love can be lost and then found. It even explores how love can transcend the grave through reincarnation. It is just fascinating and the story is so well told. I can't wait to finish it.

Positive Attitude

For all of you Psych and The Office fans, I hope you will appreciate this as much as I did. Neil and I enjoy the humor in both Psych and The Office. Neil has a coworker that also enjoys the humor of those shows. During the summer they joked about humorous moments on those shows. Friday was Neil's last day in the office before going back to school. When Neil arrived early Friday morning he found a pineapple in his cubicle along with his box of mints in Jello. Seriously, that was awesome. I told Neil he needs to get an in with the vending machine guy. Anyway, if you don't understand, it probably isn't funny but if you do understand feel free to laugh out loud because I sure did.

Speaking of humor when I came across this on my daily Dilbert calendar I thought it summed up my weekend perfectly.


It all began on Friday when my phone stopped working. I wasn't able to receive calls and I was lucky if I could make a call. My phone is a few years old and I have been having problems for a few months now. So I finally got irritated enough that Saturday afternoon I bought a new phone. It wasn't until my new phone wouldn't work that I found out that Verizon was having mass service issues and it was not my phone after all. Oh well, I love my new phone anyway.

Then comes Monday morning. Monday mornings are never the best. They never can be because Monday just has a bad connotation (at least in my book). My day begins 10 minutes earlier than normal because I had to take Neil to school. The reason that I had to take Neil to school is that the free church parking lot he normally parks in became an official student parking lot that requires a $87 parking pass to park there. Why I mention this is because the University sent me an email notifying me of the change a few weeks ago (I think it would have been best to send it to the students but I guess that would just make too much sense). I passed this onto Neil so he could either find somewhere else to park or buy the pass ahead of time. But he didn't believe me that a church parking lot could now be a University parking lot. So flash forward to Sunday when we drive past to check it out and see the BIG sign saying it is now a blue lot for student parking. Let's just say Neil is buying a parking pass today but I had to drive him today so he could get to class on time. But let's rewind here for a minute. Our alarm goes off 10 minutes earlier than normal and we stumble out of bed. Shortly after that we discover pools of blood throughout our bathroom. It turns out Neil's foot is bleeding. From what? We have no idea. So after bandaging up his foot, Neil spends a few minutes cleaning up blood. So far our Monday morning isn't going great. Then as I am getting ready to brush my teeth I drop the toothpaste and instead of just landing on the floor, it also squirts out a long stream of toothpaste all over the floor. So then I have to spend the next few minutes cleaning it up.

We finally get out the door, Neil gets to school, and I get to work. But it doesn't stop there. My computer won't start and something is wrong with a scan disk or something. Then I remember all of the files that I have not backed up on the server. Then I think I should just go home, go back to bed and try again tomorrow. After about 20 minutes fortunately or unfortunately (whichever way you look at it) my computer starts and I am still trying to have a good attitude about life.

Smartology

Pretty much speaks for itself.

I also overheard this conversation last week while waiting in the airport for my return flight home that was delayed by an hour.

Guy who had a close connection: "Since my connecting flight isn't very full and there are 4 of us on this flight trying to make it, can't you ask them to wait for us?"

Delta Agent: "No sir, we pride ourselves on being on time."

Can I re-emphasize that our flight was delayed by an hour? Doesn't Ever Leave the Airport comes to mind.

I'm sure there is more. I am just too tired to think straight. All I can say is Neil is a good sport for attending a 3.5 hour Opera with me last night. He even stayed awake.

Lesson Learned

So before I left on this trip, the director of the center I work for warned me numerous times to be careful of where I went in Phoenix because there were some "bad parts." I shrugged it off as him being overprotective. Well, last night I found out why he warned me. I finished up work late last night and decided to go to the nearest gas station to fill up my rental car so I wouldn't have to worry about it before going to the airport. Things were going fine until the receipt I needed for the gas didn't print at the pump so I had to go into the gas station. Let's just say I didn't "fit in." Well, while I am not so patiently waiting in line to get my receipt I witnessed a robbery. Well, technically it was not a robbery because no weapon was involved that I saw but robbery sounds more dramatic. Plus, it wasn't money they were after it was large cases of beer. So the store clerk stops helping people and calls the police while everyone is helping with the description of the thief. So I am standing there wondering if I really do want that receipt after all and I am concerned that I left my wallet on the front seat of my unlocked car. I had to decide whether I wanted the receipt or risk having my wallet and/or car stolen. Luckily, another clerk helped me and I got my receipt and got out of there as soon as possible. I now know where to avoid next time, lesson learned.

Working VERY Hard

I started out today with a short flight to Phoenix. I then had to explain to the rental car company that even though I was “under age” to rent a car, my corporate contract allowed it with no additional fees. Then, it was super awkward playing customer for a rental car agency I use to work for. I kept that information to myself but it was sure weird. Plus, since I knew the business in and out I got a free upgrade from my compact car I reserved because since they rarely actually have compact cars available, they have to upgrade and I still pay the compact rate. Anyway, then I had the “horrible” job of having to drive to a 5 star resort in Scottsdale to get a tour of the facility for a meeting I will be arranging in December. I left my tour with a tin of homemade cookies and a discount at the spa for me and my guests when I return. My job has never been more “difficult.”

Then, I continued work at my hotel. Did I mention Phoenix is really hot this time of year? I wish I could spend more work days by the pool…


P.S. I really am here for work, I promise.

Oakley Rodeo

I now can say that I have been to a rodeo. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I wasn’t sure if I would like it. But I was pleasantly surprised. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was entertaining, exciting, and fun. The firework show at the end was the cherry on top. I think I may attend a few more rodeos. Shocking, I know.

You Know

You know you have lived in Logan too long when the highlight of your day is going to the new WalMart. And thinking it was awesome. And thinking it was so awesome you blog about it....

You know you have lived in Logan too long when you count down the days for the big date night in Salt Lake. I never imagined that going to Salt Lake would go from being the usual thing to being the most anticipated event of the month. And going to Salt Lake being considered an event....

You know you have lived in Logan too long when you think traffic is bad on 1000 West. Then I remember commute traffic through Farmington. Then I think being stuck behind a tractor isn't that bad.

Oh, how things change.

In search of why

I have attended three funerals in about the same amount of months. All three were very different. All were for men in different stages of life; a grandfather, a father, an infant son. Words cannot describe the grief and sorrow that was evident. I have sincerely struggled with what to say to the loved ones that were left behind. “I am sorry” does not seem enough. I cannot say “It will be okay” because it is not okay and I can not make it okay. I cannot answer the question “why?” I ask that myself. I feel so inadequate trying to offer my condolences. I desperately want to offer comfort but I don’t know if I can.

These words stood out to me as I read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in suffering” and “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how” from Nietzsche.

Although those words may seem hollow when in the middle of suffering I hope my friends and family will find meaning and why in the dark days ahead.

Awesome Quote

So I got sent this quote today, "When all you have is a hammer, all problems begin to look like nails.” Awesome quote, it is especially awesome today because I feel like hitting a few nails....

If Neil had a blog....

If Neil had a blog he would have a lot of material. For example, he could write about the fact that he had to leave work early yesterday to rescue his air headed wife who locked her keys in her car. Now, the last time he had to do that he only worked 15 minutes away. This time, he had to drive an hour to rescue his wife. He could also write that instead of being mad about it, he got his wife roses instead.

He could also write about getting cold medication for his sick wife in the middle of the night and finding various pillows and blankets that would prop her up just right so she could sleep.

He could write about all the silly neurosis’s his wife has because he sure has a lot to put up with.

Anyway, I think I am probably glad that Neil doesn’t have blog. It would show what a crazy wife he has who would NEVER admit to locking her keys in her car and being too sick to take care of herself.

Seriously Part 5

I don't know if this really is the 5th "Seriously" post but I'm sure I am close. I tried thinking of a more original title but "seriously" just fits the bill the best. So Neil and I have been waiting for a very exciting package to come via UPS for the last 5 days. The shipping estimate said it would arrive in 3-5 days. We hoped it would come in 3 but no such luck. We have checked the status of this very exciting package every day for the last 5 days watching the progress. This morning it said it left the North Logan UPS office at 5:00 AM. So I was thrilled it was finally coming. But then at 11:03 AM the tracking page was updated saying it needed a correct address and was working on finding the information. LAME. So at first I thought "Stupid me, I must have typed in our address wrong." But I checked and I didn't. Because this package was so anxiously being awaited, a call to UPS was made immediately. Now, here comes the "seriously" part. UPS said the driver couldn't find our house. Interesting. Why did they say they had the "incorrect" address when they are really just lost? Seriously? It gets better, Neil had to give them directions to our house. Seriously? Is it not their job to find houses and deliver things? Seriously? We even live in Utah where we have the grid system where it is super easy to locate addresses. Come on now, UPS. Then they went on to say that the driver may not have time to go back and deliver our package, so it may not be delivered until tomorrow. Seriously? How could the driver not have TIME when he doesn't even bother to find addresses? Luckily, they will let us pick up our package tonight from them if the driver can't make it back. So just to be spiteful, I think I might call their office and ask for directions and pretend like I don't know a thing about numbers and the grid system. So there.

Where do I begin?

It just feels like one of those days, that I just can’t seem to keep my thoughts straight. There are just so many things to blog about and so little time. I wanted to begin by sharing some insights from our sunbeam class. Some weeks it feels like whatever we teach just bounces off of them. While other weeks they seem quite engaged in our lessons. I’m not going to lie; some of the lesson material has been a bit difficult. We’ve had to get creative, very creative. For example, we had a series of lessons that were titled, “I am thankful for birds,” “I am thankful for fish,” and “I am thankful for animals.” I would have thought you could combine those but apparently each deserved one whole 45 minute lesson. Now, we are on the series of how thankful we are for various body parts. Once again, I am not sure why we can’t just be thankful for our whole body and all of its parts in one lesson. ANYWAY, we taught the lesson “I am thankful for my eyes” on Sunday. We started off by telling the Bible story about the blind man who came to Jesus to be healed. Jesus put clay on his eyes and told him to wash his eyes in the River Jordan. Well, it took us a few moments to get past the clay part. They didn’t know what clay was. So we described it in various different ways we could think of but it just didn’t seem to make sense to one girl. So I finally said it was like play dough but made of dirt. I am worried if she retells the story to her family and what they will think when she says Jesus put play dough on the man. Oh well, maybe they won’t let us teach anymore. Anyway, then we got to the River Jordan part and another girl very seriously asked if the river had sharks. We very quickly said "nope, no sharks." But then another girl asked if it had fish and we were like, "yeah the river probably had fish." Then, she about died because how could that man wash his face in a river that had icky fish? We just decided to move on with something else at that point.

In other news, I am currently reading a very interesting book. It is a monk murder mystery. Seriously, it takes place in the 1600’s in an abbey where monks are getting killed off daily and another monk must solve the crimes. It has taken me a bit to get into it. It is a little confusing with all of the monk talk and then the Greek/Latin/Italian phrases that are randomly thrown in. My ancient language skills just aren’t what they use to be…. However, it has picked up and I think it will be a good one.

Finally, it has been rough recovering from the holiday weekend. People just seem extra hostile today. Within 15 minutes of being at work this morning I had two people blame me for all of their problems and wished horrible things upon me. Well, not quite that bad but when I was just trying to get my bearing for the day and to get those kind of calls so early just doesn’t make the start of a great day. Is it Friday yet?

Deep Thought Tuesday

I took a short break from my current book to read These is my Words by Nancy Turner. I thought it was an amazing book. In fact, I knew it would be amazing as soon as I read the dedication at the very beginning of the book, “For everyone who has ever stood alone on a hill in a storm.” Wow. That was just one of those quotes that gives me chills. I don’t particularly know why that touched me as much as it did but it just sounds beautiful.

From that same book I thought this was deep too,"Wisdom is not a path, it is a tree."

I was going to expound why I thought those quotes were so meaningful to me but then I realized I didn't want to taint it for you. Maybe they aren't inspiring at all but maybe they are. I just thought I would share some deep thoughts this Tuesday.

Cool....Taco Salad

I thought by now nothing would cease to amaze me. I deal with some of the strangest people out there. I thought I had heard it all. But I'm glad I haven't. I needed a good giggle. So for the past few months I have had to deal with a particularly interesting woman that surely has my number on speed dial. She calls me all the time with one bizarre question after another. She is so nice but obviously needs someone else to talk to. Her phone calls never last under 10 minutes and are usually around the 20 minute mark. She has detailed her health problems more than I would ever want or need to know. She is one of those people if I had caller ID, she would go straight to voice mail.

Anyway, she called this morning with another interesting request. I said I would look into it. She then proceeded to thank me for all the work I've done to help her and she then said she would have to buy me a taco salad. Now, I love taco salad but most people offer me chocolate, flowers, or money. Well, not money but I wish. I just thought it was a little random. It doesn't help that she lives in another state, so I don't think I will ever get my taco salad. But, it is the thought that counts, right? So I feel pretty awesome that someone thought about giving me a taco salad!

P.S. I can't believe I just wrote a post about taco salad.

Progress Report

I am about 26 pages from finishing The Woman in White and I am happy to report that it is everything I hoped it would be without even having read the ending. It is very Count of Monte Cristoesque, which I love. It has all the elements of a great book including mystery, intrigue, murder plots, scheming and revenge.

I already have my next book in hand. It is The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco. This one fits into my historical fiction category. I can already tell it will be an interesting book just from flipping through it. I also have this awful tendency to ruin endings of books and flip to the end. I hate ruining the endings but I just can’t help it.

So far I have read from several of my categories this year so I feel great about my progress. I've already read two "I'm trying to educate myself" books. I've also read a few "guilty pleasure" books. I have on hold a book in the "It came highly recommended" category. I am about to read a book in the "A fabulous book mixed with history" category. Perhaps, I will need to add a few more categories, though. Just to change things up. Any suggestions?

Summer Resolutions

Last spring I wrote about all the hobbies Neil and I were going to pick up. And then I wrote about how we failed miserably at each of them. I’m sure you remember our attempt at hiking and tennis. So this year we got serious and realistic. We are actually going to continue with our tennis hobby because no snakes are involved and we may not really be playing tennis a.k.a ball chase, but it sure gives us our much needed exercise. We also realized that our hobbies are more like going to stuff. So I am thrilled that we have a few tickets to exciting events this summer. Our first one is our favorite hobby. We love to laugh and I would like to think we both have an excellent sense of humor so we secured some tickets to see Joel McHale in Salt Lake City. We seriously watch The Soup every weekend and ever since he started announcing his tour dates, we waited anxiously to hear him announce a date in Salt Lake. Which he did and we are very excited.

I also have tickets the opera Carmen. Now, most wouldn’t think that is exciting but I have literally waited 7 years to see this opera. In high school I took a honors humanities course and our teacher arranged for us to go see Carmen in Salt Lake as a class. He also knew one of the performers so he had her come the day before and explain the opera and some of the music. I instantly fell in love with it. Well, the tickets ended up falling through and we didn’t get to go. So I promised myself the next time Carmen came to Utah, I would go. Well, Carmen is part of Logan’s opera series this summer. As soon as I found out, I seriously put the day the tickets went on sale on my calendar and made Neil buy them as soon as the box office opened. He was even questioned by the box office about who the tickets were for (like a man can’t be interested in the opera?) and when he explained they were for his wife, they give him the understanding “oh, that makes more sense.” Anyway, I think I may be fated to never see this opera because we have already had to change the dates of our tickets once because I had a business trip come up during our original tickets. Nonetheless, I am thrilled.

We also have a small trip planned to visit San Francisco. I have been everywhere else on the West Coast but there. So I decided it was about time.

I think we will be much more successful at these hobbies this summer. We will probably even see some of the summer blockbuster movies. I know that some people think we may have lame hobbies but hey, if the shoe fits, wear it! At least we will be successful at these hobbies.

Not Complaining

I wanted to write something. I wanted to virtually connect with my virtual buddies. But every time I decided what I wanted to write about I ended up deciding to not write about it after all. This is partially because my goal was to complain less and everything that came to mind sounded like complaining. Like I was going to write about how busy Neil and I have been with the end of the semester and finals for Neil and a dance performance for me. We also both came down with colds because you always get sick when you just don’t have time to be sick. We also had to say goodbye to Neil’s beloved grandfather among studying and dance rehearsals. Last week was a very difficult week but I didn’t want to complain. So I kept mum. I thought if I could just make it through Saturday night, life would be much easier. But then on Sunday, my cold took a turn for the worse and Monday morning I woke up with a lousy eye infection. Then, I also remembered I need to start/finish planning a retirement party for my Dad and a birthday party for Neil this weekend. I thought combining the two would make things easier but it has created far more problems than I anticipated. I recognize that I brought this all on myself, so it leaves absolutely no room for complaining. So at this point I am just looking forward to Saturday night. Unless, I contract yet another illness.

Book Blog

I am beginning to realize that perhaps I should have made this a book blog instead of my mostly random thoughts and rants. I recently decided that even though I had justified this blog as a journal, the internet is just not the best place for that. So I actually started a traditional journal again. Thus, my lack of blogging. However, when I do have random thoughts that I find blog worthy they will end up here. For example, I spent almost the entire weekend reading. I finished the book Neil had me read. It really wasn't that bad, in fact the writing was excellent (David Weber was the author). The characters and concept were even interesting especially how much women were empowered but all the war and space stuff just went over my head.

Then a book I have been waiting for came available at the library. In fact two books did at the same time. I hate having to place holds on every single book I want to read and then having to wait for sometimes months just to get my hands on it. Then of course 3 out of the 20 holds I have come available at the same time and I have to read non-stop. In any case, I felt pressured to finish one of the shorter books, so I would have more time for the longer book. So I read the entire book on Sunday. I hadn't intended too, it just happened. It was the new book by Mary Higgins Clark and it was one of her better ones in the last few years.

So now I am reading The Woman in White. I honestly have never heard of this book until it was referenced several times in another book that I read recently. It sounded intriguing and I was sold when I read the back of the book which said, ". . . is the first and most influential of the Victorian genre that combined Gothic horror with psychological realism." Honestly, I am not familiar with Gothic horror or exactly what "psychological realism" means but it sure sounds fascinating. What are you reading?

Happy Place

I have been working on a few projects at work that have absolutely consumed every ounce of my time, thoughts and energy this week. Plus, with everything going on in my personal life I have been a little stressed. So at night when I am trying to go to sleep, I have been imagining my "happy place." The above photos are my very favorite beach in California. I absolutely love Trinidad. It has the best beach, the cutest shops, and a beautiful campground. You literally camp underneath a canopy of redwoods. I haven't been there in a couple of years and I am aching to return.





There is also something about the beach that just makes you feel like you could walk or run forever.



Now for the money shots. These next two pictures are my favorite because it has three things that I love most. My man, my dog, and my beach.

True Story

I was giving my work address to someone over the phone today. When I said the city and then Utah. She seriously asked what Utah's State abbreviation was. I know that some States are trickier than others but Utah? Seriously? I should have told her it was AH. What a missed opportunity.....

Negotiating Interests

A few months ago I convinced Neil to read several books that I knew he would love but were outside of his general reading genre. He reluctantly read the first book I recommended and he loved it as I suspected, so he continued to read my recommendations. Honestly, I just wanted his opinion on the books and so we could discuss them. However, now he wants me to read one of his books. The problem is that he reads hard core war science fiction. I just know that is not my cup of tea. For example, we recently recorded Saving Private Ryan on our DVR. Now, I have never seen the movie and never really cared to because I heard it was quite graphic due to the war content. Although, I heard it was great, I still had no desire to see it. But I decided to watch it with Neil and figured the TV version couldn't be that bad. Well, I was wrong. I had to close my eyes for most of the movie and I think I stayed up at least two nights unable to sleep with my own version of PTSD. Okay, maybe this is a little off topic but I just finished the prologue to Neil's recommended book and it reminded me of that incident. Now, it may sound as if I don't want to read it, which slightly may be true but I do want to read it to know what Neil likes to read. I also feel obligated to because he did read my recommendations. I guess I will continue plugging along and maybe I will end up liking it.

I have been on a reading kick lately. I just finished The Thirteenth Tale. It was an interesting book because the writing style was fairly unique. The book was about storytelling among other things. At one point the writer makes a statement about how sometimes we are tainted when we begin a new book by the previous book we just finished. I think that is often true for me at least. I sometimes struggle getting into a new book if I just finished an amazing book. Maybe that is why I am having a hard time motivating myself to enjoy the new book I've begun.

Aftermath

Neil and I aren't really into pranks. Well, at least I'm not. Mostly, because I am afraid of retaliation. Plus, I am extremely gullible and I would probably fall for just about anything. Like a few years ago when I was in college my Mom sent out an email to our entire family that explained their plans. Basically, my Dad was retiring they were moving away, etc, etc. Being the only single person in the family I think it traumatized me the most. I also didn't read the little April Fools at the very end of the email. So I spent the entire day in tears wondering where I would go for holidays. I finally called my Mom to talk to her about it and then she laughed and said it was just a joke. I still haven't gotten her back for that.

Neil did pull a prank on his Dad. He called him up and said his work offered him a job in California and we would be moving in May. His Dad congratulated him and went on about how awesome that would be. Then Neil felt like it had gone on long enough, he said "But we'll probably move back next April 1." This just confused his Dad because he didn't know why we would move back so soon. Then he realized it was just a joke. Although, maybe next April it won't be......

The worst prank of the day came from our DVR. I'm pretty sure I have sung praises to this technology because it is amazing. I haven't watched live TV in over a year and I love it! Anyway, Wednesday nights are set aside for watching LOST. Well, we were enjoying another good episode right up until Sawyer hands little Ben over to Richard and then everything ended. The DVR didn't record the very end. I know it was almost the ending but what happened??? We have no idea how it ended and we didn't see previews for next week. Which is probably good because I hate those teasers but this has never happened before. What a terrible prank.

Patience is a Virtue

Or so the saying goes. I don’t have patience. I think having patience would be amazing. It is definitely something I am striving for. I just get so irritated with people and situations that require patience. For example, what inspired this post is someone who should know better emailed me and asked me if our website was updated with some particular information. Really? Is this person so incompetent that they can’t check the website themselves? Seriously? The most frustrating part about this whole scenario is that this isn’t the first time I’ve had this kind of question. I suppose I am exercising some sort of patience with these people because I literally have to close the email do something else for a bit and then respond nicely. If that isn’t patience, then I don’t know what else is.

Speaking of patience. I’ve mentioned before that Neil and I teach 3 year olds at church. I wanted to love this calling. I wanted to tell funny stories about them. I wanted to just think they are the cutest little kids ever. But that is not the case. This is absolutely the hardest calling I have ever had. Just two weeks ago Neil and I had to take our turn doing sharing time. This was our second time. Our first sharing time did not go as well as I would have liked. So I decided something big, flashy, and exciting was in order for our next sharing time. So I spent weeks planning and days preparing the best sharing time lesson ever. Well, this one didn’t go as planned either. We are asked to include the kids in our class for our presentation which is difficult when you have 3 year olds. They can’t read and their attention span is non-existent. So we decided to have them hold pictures for our game. We have 12 kids on our roll and we average about 4-7 each week. The weeks prior to our sharing time we were only having about 4 kids coming regularly. Which is much easier to manage. But of course on our sharing time day 9 kids show up. Do you realize how difficult it is to manage that many 3 year olds? Well, it was one thing just to get them to stand quietly holding their picture and a whole other thing when about 4 of the kids had melt downs right there in front of the primary because they didn’t get to play the game. In fact, one of them had to be taken out by the Primary President all while we were trying to do our lesson. Somehow, we made it through but I had a melt down of my own. I had worked so hard preparing and studying the lesson and then to just have it fail miserably was difficult. Then we had to still make it through singing time and teach our class lesson.

I have no patience for children. I can’t understand when we ask them to sit in their seats, or stop hitting their neighbor or to be quiet, they just look at you and continue with whatever they were doing. I also have little patience for some of their parents. We actually had a parent that peeked into the primary room and saw her child army crawling around the room while we were chasing him down but didn’t do anything. When she picked him up after class she said, “Sorry he doesn’t behave very well and did you take him to the bathroom?” What am I suppose to say to that? “Yeah, we are sorry too. Too bad he doesn’t have a parent that disciplines him and takes him to the bathroom themselves?” I hate to criticize parents because I am not one. Nor is this helping me to find confidence in order to be one but still I would just hope that I knowingly wouldn’t let my child reign terror in primary.

I suppose I am an awful person for publicly sharing my thoughts on this subject. I suppose I am in no way working on developing patience if I am just complaining about the situations that could make me a better person. But honestly in some ways venting about the trauma that primary has caused makes me feel better. Plus, it has given me just enough time to cool off and respond nicely to that email.

Ouch

Today has been rough so far. It hurts to move, it even hurts to sit. Last night was an intense rehearsal for my upcoming performance. Over the last several weeks, I have literally been taking ibuprofen like it is candy. I can’t even go through the night without waking up in excruciating pain and having to take more pain pills. I have been doing aerobic and weight training between rehearsals trying to kick my body back into dancing shape but for some reason my body is protesting. I use to love the feel of pain because it meant my muscles and body was becoming toned and fit. Now, I just want the pain to go away. It is just not worth it.

At the beginning of the year one of my sisters suggested our family hold our own Biggest Loser contest. Neil and I chose not to participate for various reasons but we decided we would do it on our own. But we would make it about becoming and staying healthy rather than just losing weight. So around January 5 we weighed ourselves and then began making changes to our lifestyle. To take the focus off of weight we decided we would not weigh ourselves again until July 1. So we have been faithfully exercising a minimum of 20 minutes every day, eating more servings of fruits and veggies and drinking more water. Well, at least that is how it started out. Our faithful exercise has faltered some but is not completely non-existent. We both got sick a few weeks ago, so it was difficult to exercise then and then get back into it. In my defense I still dance 4 hours a week so sometimes I take a break, okay? Anyway, after the first few weeks I cheated and wanted to weigh myself because I had been working so hard and I felt like it would be a good reward. I was dead wrong. I had actually gained a few pounds. Right before I threw the scale through the bathroom wall, Neil did his best to reassure me that it was muscle weight. Then I realized we should have measured our bodies instead of just weighing ourselves. In any case this is what has led me to believe that it is not worth it. I hurt and I want it to go away along with a few more pounds.

the car goes where the eyes go

I promised myself if I was going to blog I was going to blog everyday. I think that went out the window during the first week of blogging. I started blogging because everyone else was doing it. Then I continued blogging because I was in a sense journaling my life which I haven’t done since college. Then I faltered but continued to blog because it was nice to receive comments on my life because that doesn’t happen if I just go back to pen and paper. But lately my mind and emotions have been all over the place and I haven’t had the time, energy or words to pen my life. I have a serious case of writers block. Beginning this blog reawakened my love of writing. Did you know that many years ago I wanted to be a writer? My childhood friend and I even pulled out spiral bound notebooks and began writing short fiction stories that were full of our teenage angst. I wonder if I still have those stories. I didn’t become a writer because Junior High and High School happened. Somehow, all of those required English classes took every ounce of desire to write out of me. I hated writing 5 paragraph essays on topics that I couldn’t care less about. I dreaded even more reading classical literature and poems and having to extrapolate deep seeded meanings when in all reality how does anyone know what the long dead author really intended? So how could I be wrong when I said what I thought it meant? But apparently I could be wrong.

To make a long story short, I haven’t been able to form words and sentences to update this blog.

However, I have been reading an excellent book by Garth Stein called The Art of Racing in the Rain. I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone who has not loved a dog. This book is from the perspective of a dog recounting his life along with his beloved master Denny. I’ve realized that as I have been comparing books with others that sometimes our opinions of books are vastly different. I have realized that what makes me love a book is if it inspires me in some way. I have realized that what inspires me may very well not inspire you. Maybe if I had read this book ten years ago or ten years from now it may not have had the affect it has. I literally read the first 100 pages of this book with tears streaming down my face because I couldn’t help but wonder how my dog would recount my life. Anyway, another interesting element to this book is that the main character Denny is a race car driver. So the dog relates many of life’s lessons to race car driving. One statement he makes is “the car goes where the eyes go.” Meaning whatever you are focused on is where you will end up. This of course could mean many different things to many different people. But to me it gave me a new resolve to not let all of the little things around me distract me from where I want to end up. Lately, I have been focusing on a million different things and I felt like I was getting nowhere. I let my focus change and I went in a million different directions. I want to be better at letting the little distractions go and keep focused on where I want to go. It is easier said then done but it is nice to have inspiration every once in awhile.

2 Years Down

What can I say? It has been a fabulous two years and I am looking forward for what is to come.

Another day in the life....

Yesterday afternoon when I found my grocery list attached to the travel arrangements I was making for my boss, I realized that I needed to take a break and welcome the dysfunction. I was worried that I would accidentally call my boss and tell him what to get at the grocery store and then tell Neil about his next trip to Iowa.

Luckily, I now only have one list I am working on and few less piles on my desk. I am still bewildered with why people think the way they do. I am amazed by how many people do not know how to use the internet or can read for that matter.

I was told today by someone that it was strange that I do not know sign language and I work on a project that tests interpreters for the deaf. She was trying to tell me how she was afraid to test in another state that I will not name (in order to stay neutral) because they might have an accent that she wouldn't understand (referring to an accent in sign language????). She also shared some quite racist remarks about another group of people that she can't understand "their" sign language. Anyway, after a conversation that went on like that for 15 minutes, I decided that after months of hemming and hawing over whether or not I should learn sign language, I decided I should. Since I am a terrible decision maker, I still may change my mind but I think I am going to take a class in the fall. It is intimidating because my attempt at learning Spanish was laughable. So why do I think I could learn sign language? I'm not sure but I guess I can consider it professional development.

Dysfunction

I don't know what it is but when I have too much to do I become highly dysfunctional. I am feeling extremely overwhelmed with work, with life and just everything. I am an avid list maker but right now I have lists and lists on post-it notes and whatever I can find that I just can't seem to get organized. Everything needs to be done now. So I am feeling very disorganized even though usually my lists are what makes me organized. So because I just don't know where to begin and my mind is going in a million directions, I just can't focus. The less important things seems to keep surfacing. Like checking my email and sending hilarious utube videos to people.

This use to happen all the time in high school when the balance between school, two jobs, and performing on 2 dance companies became too much. I would just break down. I use to cry then and now I just eat chocolate. Most days being busy is ideal and my lists keep me on track. But I think I hit my breaking point today. Instead of tackling the long lists, I would rather blog because that is just one more way to be dysfunctional.

Oh and did I mention that I am performing in a dance concert in April? I figured that since I just wasn't busy enough I would add 4 hours of dancing to my schedule. The problem with this is that I'm not 16 anymore and my body certainly isn't what it was back then. The good thing is that I do enjoy it and it is forcing me to exercise.

In 61 Years....

Several days ago my Mother shared this beautiful and touching story about my grandparents. I've thought a lot about it over the last several days. My grandparents coming to Utah and living with my parents has created a lot of difficult changes in the lives of my family. However, now I am seeing what a wonderful experience this is. My grandparents have lived in California my entire life, so I don't know them that well but now I am getting to know them. I also hope that in 61 years my sweet husband will still want to take me out on Valentine's Day too.

Reading Between the Lines

I hope that I am not the only one that struggles with reading between the lines. I have always been self reflective and curious why I do the things I do and why I think the things I think. I would love to know why other people do and think the things they do as well. After studying Psychology for several years, I am still not any closer to figuring out all my questions. I think I just became more of a hypochondriac. For example, I am currently suffering from seasonal affect disorder (SAD) and I think I recently had a psychotic break. Anyway, I find myself constantly wondering what people really mean when they say certain things. I guess I just have a hard time taking things at face value. I also recently had two incidences where I said something in public and later realized that it could have been interpreted a completely different way. One of those incidences I am completely embarrassed about and the other I feel dumb for saying. So even though I have no idea how exactly it was interpreted I am agonizing over what those people think of me now. I wish I could be more like Neil. He is just so good at being positive and laughing about things.

Then of course I am absolutely fascinated about dreams. I over analyze my dreams as if they really mean something. I’ve studied many theories on dreams but I don’t think anyone really knows why we dream the things we do. But last week I had a very troubling reoccurring dream. For three nights in a row I dreamed the same thing but each night it progressed a little further. I dreamed that I was living in a cabin in the middle of the desert. I then began walking through the desert. On the first night, I didn’t see any snakes but I was afraid I would. The second night, I saw a snake and the third night the snake bit me. Doesn’t that just seem full of meaning? So I have turned to my highly scientific source and this is what I found out.

To dream that you are walking through a desert, signifies loss and misfortune. You may be suffering from an attack on your reputation. Deserts are also symbolic of barrenness, loneliness and feelings of isolation and hopelessness.

To see a rattlesnake in your dream, represents the passage of time.

To dream that you are in or see a cabin in your dream, indicates that you succeed via your own means. It suggests that you are self-reliant and independent, yet still remain humble. You prefer the simpler things in life.

So what do you wonder about human behavior? Do you believe in dream interpretation?

Meet Gizmo

This card seriously made my day.




I know it sounds weird but Gizmo sends me a birthday card every year. I seriously love that dog and I am looking into investing into dog cloning. In case you haven't met him here he is doing his favorite thing.


And here he is with his favorite cousin dog, Bailey.

Meaning of Words

I've been experiencing technical difficulties. My laptop died. It just died and I'm just too sad about it to even think about fixing it. If it could be fixed. Work has kept me very busy so between no laptop and being busy has resulted in no blogging. I always imagined my re-entry into the blogging world would be amazing. You would think that I would have a million things to say but in reality it is just the same old same old. I have more stories than I would like to share about dumb people. I did this and that. And I may have become just a little bit older. But right now none of it seems blog worthy enough especially for my official debut.

I have been learning the meaning of a few new words. Like mundane. Don't worry I know what it means, I just never really experienced it. That is how I feel right now. I know that technically you can't feel mundane but I do. Perhaps, that is why nothing "sounds" blog worthy. The other word I just learned is furlough. Sounds kind of cool unless you know what it means. Yep, I just found out the definition of that word. And let me tell you that it is even worse when you put the word mandatory in front of it.

Oh and I am reading Crime and Punishment so I can get an early start on my classic book for the year.

Friday Funny

 

For Christmas I got a Dilbert daily calendar. I absolutely love it. Every morning while I wait for my computer to start up I take a moment to tear off the previous day and read the new comic. These two have been my favorite so far.

Straight from the Sunbeams

I realized that I am very negative on my blog. So I decided that I need to report back on how teaching the lovely sunbeams are going. Last Sunday was actually really fun. Plus, the kids just say the funniest things. Here was my first conversation with a girl in our class while we were waiting for sharing time to start.

Girl: Where is Sally (another girl in the class)? (I’m using fictional names because since they aren’t actually my kids, I don’t want to exploit them without permission).
Me: I don’t know.
Girl: Why isn’t she here?
Me: Maybe she is on a trip with her family.
Girl: Where is Sally?
Me trying to figure out why she just can’t accept the fact that Sally is NOT there: I don’t know but we can ask her next week.
Girl: But WHY isn’t she here TODAY?
Me realizing that 3 year olds are still in the “why” phase: I don’t know… Hey look at that picture!
Distraction seemed to work.

We also had a little drama. Apparently there were two boys with “lots of energy” as the Primary President explained in one class, so they wanted to give us one (oh and did I mention we already have a boy with “lots of energy” in our class) and trade out the cutest, smartest, and best behaved boy in our class. Since I really didn’t feel like I could say no they just did the trade anyway. The boy they took out of our class seemed fine sitting with his new class in sharing and singing time but about 10 minutes after we went to our classrooms, his Mom brought him back in and said that he wanted to be in our class and they would trade another kid. I was so happy! It also made me feel like we’ve done something right, if he refused to go to another class. His Mom said that he loves being in our class.

So now we have two boys with “lots of energy” in our class. They are actually quite entertaining at times. We separate them so Neil is sitting by one and I am sitting by the other. Our class is divided between two rows. So the boy behind my row sitting by Neil was being noisy so the boy next to me turned around and said, “If you don’t be quiet then they will send you back to nursery or to your parents like they do in nursery.” So that made the other boy cry. Then the first boy turned to me and said, “Isn’t that right teacher?” I just told them both to be quiet and tried not to laugh. I wanted to say yes.

We also have one girl that has no idea about proper social cues. She actually took a handful of crayons during our craft time and smashed them on Neil’s pants. It was not appropriate but it was kind of funny too. Although, Neil did NOT think it was funny one bit because then he had crayon on his pants. She also refuses to sit in her seat during sharing time and during our classroom time. She constantly just gets up and wanders around the room taking things from people. Any ideas on how we stop that behavior?

Picture Perfect Moments

Why is it when you have moments that would be perfect to take a picture and you have a camera but didn't realize the batteries were dead? I usually just completely forget the camera but I actually remembered to take it with us to Lava Hot Springs yesterday but neglected to check the batteries. I of course think that in order for me to tell about our trip to Idaho for a wedding reception that included a side trip to Lava Hot Springs it would be necessary to post pictures. Since no pictures were actually taken then I think it is pointless. So I won't go into details due to the lack of photographic documentation but I will say that it was fun to break out of our routine weekend to do something more adventurous like drive to Pocatello. I can't believe I just said that....

Good Books

I have been reading a lot lately. I use to really enjoy reading but then work, school, and life happened and it didn’t leave time for reading. Last year a good friend of mine set a goal to read so many books that year. So I of course had to read all of the good books she recommended. Even though I didn’t set the goal myself it was really nice to be motivated to read again because now I don’t have the excuse of school. I discovered many very good and inspiring books through this challenge.

I now have several categories of books that I read. The first category is “the guilty pleasure” book. I love a good murder mystery. My favorite murder mystery author is Mary Higgins Clark. I have read every single one of her books.

The second category is “I’m trying to educate myself.” Books in that category are classics. I always try to read at least one or two “classics” a year to be educated. Classics are a tough category because I absolutely love some classics like Jane Eyre, The Count of Monte Cristo, Wuthering Heights, and Inferno but I absolutely hated some other classics like Picture of Dorian Gray, Ethan Frome, and Catch-22. However, I am more educated for reading them regardless if I liked them, right?

The third category is “I’m trying to look and be smart.” I only read one of those last year. It was written by a Nobel Prize winner, so that makes me smart for just reading it right?

The fourth category is “It came highly recommended.” I read a lot of those last year. I read some books that I ordinarily would not have picked off the shelf myself but was extremely surprised. My top books from this category are Life of Pi, The Poisonwood Bible, The Secret Life of Bees, Water for Elephants, The Alchemist, and The Glass Castle. Seriously those books were amazing, inspiring, and very possibly life changing.

The fifth category is “A fabulous book mixed with history.” I have recently come to thoroughly enjoy historical fiction novels. I know I probably would be smarter if I actually read real history but let’s be honest here historical fiction is much more exciting than real history…… Anyway, my top books in this category are The Historian, The Tea Rose and The Winter Rose. Those books not only have fascinating historical elements thrown in but the stories are so captivating that you feel very invested in the characters.

The sixth and final category is “It’s the cool thing to do.” We all know what fits in this category—Harry Potter, the Twilight series, etc. The good thing about following the crowd for this one is those books are actually half way decent.

Anyway, what makes a book “good” for you? What are your top picks for books you’ve read? I’m always looking for a good book to read.

The Look of Death

So apparently I showed up to work today looking like death. Let's just say that I didn't get much if any sleep last night due to worrying. I didn't feel great getting up this morning and I did see the deep black bags under my eyes but usually eye make-up and some base does the trick. I also have this dull headache. So I showed up to my morning staff meeting and my supervisor immediately asks how I am. I am a little surprised but I say fine. Don't we all just say fine? I mean we never actually say what we really are feeling. If I said what I was feeling I would have said, "Well, since you asked I actually feel extremely tired, I have a headache, and I think if I have to stare at my computer screen for one more minute I just might have a psychotic break." But instead I said I was fine. Then, when asked about my data project I said it was pretty much under control. Then, she points out the bags underneath my eyes and my general look of death. Pretty much everyone was in agreement. I didn't think it was that noticeable. In fact I had to go and check myself out in the bathroom mirror. So I sit here thinking, I should have just gone home sick. I apparently looked the part.

P.S. I realized in my previous post that it may sound like Neil isn't great at giving gifts. He is actually really thoughtful and great but we usually ask each other first if there are any specific requests. He actually doesn't even read this but I just wanted to clarify for my sake.

Practicality

As that day that occurs once a year in which you receive gifts on approaches (I have issues with that day and I usually try to not bring it up), I have had some internal struggles. Neil has been pestering me about what I want. I promised Neil from day one that I would not be that girl that expected him to read my mind and guess. Because that usually is setting a man up for failure. So over the years, I usually tell Neil exactly what I want or I just buy and wrap it and label it from him. However, this year I am struggling with fun gifts versus practical gifts. I definitely think that a fun gift would be awesome like a gift card to my favorite clothing store or a weekend trip. However, when your budget is as tight as ours then I feel guilty about requesting something frivolous. So then I think maybe a practical gift would be better. For example, I need a new frying pan that is decently sized. I am sick and tired of every time I try to make stir fry or ham fried rice or anything that requires a frying pan that I can’t fit everything in and just end up making a mess. I also need some new winter boots. All day on Friday, I was bothered by the fact that my feet were freezing. Several hours of suffering later, I realized that I had a hole in my boot near my toes. Most would think boots would not be practical but have you ever lived through a Logan winter without boots? Finally, I am blaming most of my sleepless nights on the fact that I have a lousy sad excuse for a pillow. A pillow is practical right? Because I’m not sure that getting a pillow for a gift is the most exciting thing.

Well, I suppose I am being slightly misleading because I actually did decide what Neil should get me. Now you are really curious, huh? I love suspense. Well, not if I’m the one in suspense but the other way around. Anyway, I went with the pillow. It was a difficult choice because I insisted that if we were going to spend money on a pillow it had to be good one. No more $5 pillows. So with a coupon to Bed Bath and Beyond, we invested in a pillow. I say invested because it makes it easier thinking about how much money it cost but I realize that it will not yield dividends other than a great nights sleep. Anyway, I guess the internal struggle is over except for the fact that I just feel older for choosing a practical gift over something fun.

Going Crazy

I
have
to
take
a
break.
My head is hurting from staring at numbers all day. I have been dealing with the not so fun part of managing a research project. I am responsible for collecting, entering and making data make sense. I recently found out that the data I had been collecting for over the last 1.5 years was not enough. So I have to go back through all 700 some odd records and re-record some data. It really is a good thing because the reason I am doing this is to secure another grant for developing training materials to go along with the assessment we are already administering. It is just a lot of numbers. A lot of numbers that I have to compile. And a lot of numbers that I have to make sense out of. Out of all 3 statistic courses I took in college, not one taught me effective methods of actually presenting data. Lame.

Anyway, I thought I was having a bad week until I had to make a dreaded phone call. I dreaded this phone call because I had to tell someone who was requesting a free re-take that we weren't going to give it to her for various reasons. I hate doing that. I just hate being the bearer of bad news. So I call her hoping to just leave a message. No such luck. I explained who I was and what I was calling about. She then profusely thanks me for returning her call (which makes me feel even worse that she is being so nice) then she starts crying. So I come to find out that she was just fired from her job that day because she didn't score high enough on the before mentioned assessment. She was just diagnosed with a serious illness and I'm sure her dog died or something. So I then had to spend 10 minutes grief counseling (see how my education does come in handy from time to time?) and then I have to break the news that even though she just lost her job she will have to fork out another $250.00 just to re-take the assessment to get her job back. I just wish she was mean about it. Then I wouldn't have felt so bad. Anyway, after hearing about her bad day, my week doesn't seem so bad.

A Warning

So a few months ago we all had some fun speculating what new calling Neil and I would have in church. Then, I made the big announcement and silently kept telling myself that Neil and I would be just fine teaching primary. Then came several more posts that it turns out that 6 year olds are mean and make me cry. However, after several weeks of feeling like an utter failure I finally accepted the fact that it wasn’t going to be easy and began rolling with the punches. Well, things have changed a bit.

It all started with a message from the primary president on New Years day. The message went something like this, “I need to talk to you about something. So please call me back when you get a chance. As you know we are having 40 sunbeams coming into primary. Anyway, just call me and we can talk.” Let’s just say we knew what was coming even though she tried to be as cryptic as possible. We now teach 10 three year olds every Sunday. I honestly thought after our last class I could handle anything. But then I forgot about the developmental phase that three year olds are in. They don’t yet understand manners and appropriate behaviors. So we spent the entire time saying things like “Don’t shove your neighbor off their chair” and “put your shoes back on” and “can you go potty by yourself?” Anyway, I’ve only taught them for one week but I left more discouraged then ever. So any advice is more than welcome.

On a side note, I went to my Mom to ask for her advice on how to reach the sunbeams and actually teach them something. After a long conversation my Mom eventually said something like “I don’t know why they are even having you teach the sunbeams, they should at least have a parent teach them. You don’t even have kids!” Now, I know what she meant by this but I still find it quite humorous. I think she is right though, I don’t think we are very qualified for this position. But it takes a lot to get fired from these things. Interestingly enough, I have tried to change my perspective on this situation. I keep telling myself this is a good calling because it is teaching me about kids. I think the man upstairs is preparing us for something. For now though, I am just taking it as a warning of what NOT to get myself into……

My Own Tradition

For some strange reason I love this time of year. Not because of the snow or anything because I hate the snow. I love the holidays in December but I also love when they are over. A lot of work and time goes into preparing for Christmas and it just seems like a relief sometimes when all the decorations get cleaned up and life goes back to normal. I also have a tradition this time of year. I buy myself a new calendar for Christmas. It has to be mini calendar with beach scenes. I guess it has something to do with reminding me where I would rather be or something. Then around New Years Day I sit down and copy all of the important recurring events from my old calendar to the new one. Then, I add the days I get off of work for holidays. Then I add the school schedule (can’t wait until I don’ t have to do that). Then, I patiently wait until the BYU football schedule is announced and add that. I add any upcoming vacations (those are my favorite to add). I guess you really don’t care what I put on my calendar but it keeps my life planned and organized. I’ll never forget a birthday (unless I forget to look at the calendar, it keeps happening more and more….) and I know when we are busy or not.

I bring this up because this that is why I love this time of year. I like starting over with my fresh calendar that still has openings for possibilities. I am getting excited to see what this year will bring. I am looking forward to celebrating a few more mile stones this year. What are you looking forward to this year?

Predictable

Neil and I did end up justifying driving an hour just to see some movies. It ended up being a good thing. Except, we didn't see the two movies that we wanted to see over the break. In any case, we did see two other movies on our list. We saw "Valkyrie" and "Marley and Me." The problem with both of these movies is that I knew what was going to happen. Just like when I saw "Titanic" I knew the boat would sink. But somehow after seeing the love story between Jack and Rose, I hoped the boat wouldn't sink. But it did sink and I cried. Same thing happened in "Valkyrie" I desperately wanted the assassination attempt to work and slightly hoped that history could be changed through a movie but history did not change. We all know what happened. In fact, not only was the attempt unsuccessful but what resulted was horrific. So now I have completely made you decide to not see it right? Well, it is still worth seeing because they never teach you in school about the powerful people who opposed Hitler.

Then, I made the mistake of seeing "Marley and Me." My Mom had read the book and told me about it. So I pretty much knew what to expect. But as with all books and movies about animals, they die. I read "Black Beauty" as a very young child and was forever traumatized. They always die and I always cry. But the worst part about the movie was that the first 3/4 of the movie was light hearted and funny. And then they drag out the death of the poor dog. Seriously, they decided to just throw all the tender moments between man and dog in just to make you cry that much more. I was already sobbing because I have a beautiful lab that is starting to get older and I know sometime in the near future, I will have to make the horrible decision as to when to let him go. So seeing a movie about a dog dying just wasn't the best idea. Why couldn't they have just ended on a happy note and just eluded to the fact the dog died?

Anyway, I am just too upset by those movies to even think about new years resolutions yet. I have one for now though, stop seeing movies that are predictable. If you know what happens, just leave it that way. You don't need to see a movie about it.