Seriously.

I seriously just had this conversation.

Guy on phone: I need to take the performance test.
Me: What state do you live in?
Guy on phone: Florida.
Me: Unfortunately our project does not cover the state of Florida.
Guy on phone: I'll move! Where do I need to move to?
Me getting slightly annoyed: You have to be a resident of a participating state or work in a school district in that state.
Guy on phone: Really?
Me: No, I was just kidding. I just really like making up the parameters of the project on the spot to keep things interesting.
Me: I would recommend contacting...
Guy on phone interrupting me: How am I suppose to get nationally certified?
Me continuing: You need to contact your state department of education to find out what certifications they have available.
Guy on phone: I worked for the state department of education in New York and they let anyone test anywhere.
Me: I'm pretty sure you are wasting my time and what did that last statement have to do with anything!
Me: All I can recommend is contacting your state. Have you contacted them?
Guy on phone: No. I guess I should do that.
Me: Couldn't we have come to that conclusion a little sooner?

And that was the abridged version. Seriously.