Disappointment

I have been anticipating something that would have been really good for Neil and I for the last few months. And today, I received the news I had not so patiently been waiting for. It was a HUGE disappointment. I tried over the last several weeks to not get my hopes up. Don't we all? But somehow, we do and rarely do our big hopes pan out. This was certainly the case for me. I had my big hope, medium hope, and barely acceptable hope to try to compensate but the news didn't even fit into the barely acceptable hope. So of course I had to deal with all the emotions of being disappointed today. When the news first broke, I was speechless. Then, I had to try to not cry. Which led into being very angry because in my opinion what I hoped for wasn't that unrealistic. I have even touched on the bargaining phase (to recall my interpretation of the stages of grief--see my waffle post!). I thought, well maybe it was a mistake and I will get better news later. I would like to just accept it and move on but I think I am going to be angry a little longer.